Regret that I found someone who accepts and does not give up on me and I might never find something similar again.. Hey Eric, what you are saying hits the nail on the head. There is this guy I’m dating, and at one point we were in a relationship, but i broke it off because i seemed to make all the effort in the relationship. Setting up a limit of how much of the money is yours or his to spend freely and an amount that goes towards both the bills can help you come to a mutual agreement on what should and should not be spent. I am known as a saver and I found what appears to be a spender. Having feelings remain is not such a bad thing. I have to add to my original question. I’m not saying that guys should be cheap, but you and I both know that the amount of money a guy spends on a date isn’t going to change how you feel about him in your heart. I was full of bitterness when he offered this and told him that i could easily get another partner for the business venture without enduring the emotional pain i could experience when he goes to depression again. Dating? I so wish there was something I could do to help — he is so fantastic. I am not sure if this means he’ll be leaving me anytime soon. Besides that, I ve never seen how a relationship should work. He doesn’t want to make a promise to me that he cannot keep. I’ve dated guys w/ money and w/out but, my intent now is to break bad relationship habits and not let myself be treated poorly regardless of the excuse. if i say yes, i would be wishing the partnership would rekindle the relationship. The guy I’m [24F] seeing stole my neighbors package (weed) [27M] then sold it, Ask a Guy (Dating Tips / Relationship Advice for Women): Frequently Asked Questions. A bankruptcy or past foreclosure is often a relationship killer. This can, however, indicate a commitment issue and not just with you. How do I deal with this without making him feel as though I think less of him? He may still lose his home which has been in the balance for 2 years. I would not turn away a man who has not completed college, though he would have to be intellectually curious and driven in other ways. I just want a nice life for my future family and I am starting to resent the fact that it seems he hasn’t been saving or sacrificing like I have to start a family. She still wonders about him. You need to leave him alone, give him space and let him solve his problem on his own. If you want to contact me, feel free to reach out on Facebook or Twitter. I agree that it is probably best not to remain in limbo, but it would depend on the situation. I met him before these tragedies and we were so close to a loving committed relationship and life was great. hi charles! But my view is that if my height is a problem, it's her problem, not mine! Too many shopping sprees and Starbucks runs could be a turnoff. I want to give the guy a break, I know his problems are far more pressing than dinner w/ me but, being cancelled on at the last minute is a hot button w/ me to say the least. Develop Your Plan to Overcome Financial Problems for Good. But he couldn’t figure out what is his problem. Give him space to figure out his stuff and commit 100% to being OK with your decision to stay. I keep giving him outs so he can have his life back and all he says is you are a part of my life and this struggle is for our future. He has still to recover. A lot of guys fall into the trap of measuring their self-worth based upon how much money they make, what kind of job they have and their overall financial situation. Leave the door open and move on. How do women support their men in times of work/economic stress??? Have you noticed that he always seems to be asking friends or family to loan him some money? . Is this a good idea or will it make the situation worse? I’m saying just be willing to be there with him and give him the space to just be. Hey aj, Hi Eric, I’m facing a similar situation too. I have fallen for a fantastic guy who is in a financial “perfect storm”: lost job paying $400K at age 47, trouble finding a new job for a year, finds new job paying $100K (which he hates) and now must rent his million dollar home, sell his boat, try to find a new, smaller apartment, get rid of many of his things, and is looking for a new job. Thank you guys! I want him to move out because he is adding up to all my financial burdens but then again he does not have anywhere to go because even his family relies on me. We were developing a wonderful relationship and then then economy tanked. They will never ever be perfect, they will never ever be 100%. I am moving on, but do continue to hope that things improve and that he might come back to me one day. Obama economy hit him and his clients. The last thing you want to do is marry a person who doesn’t have a financial plan, good financial practices or a financial philosophy that matches yours. Problems With Dating Someone With Pets, Relationships, 88 replies Are many of the commmon dating problems are really socializing problems?, Relationships, 31 replies Dating for close to a year...problems.., Relationships, 39 replies Handling large financial differences while dating..., Relationships, 91 replies If you are dating a guy with financial problems, the first step to take is to let him know that his spending habits do not make you feel comfortable. The hardest thing in the world can be to accept that ultimately they need to solve it for themselves. The circumstances of the split was not necessary a bad situation. Ongoing financial problems can be a sign your partner isn't prioritizing you, Tessina says, and that they lack self control. It could have been relocation or job related. He explained them in a way that gave me the impression he had learned from these and had grown wiser in the ways of money. But with the current state of mind, i am not sure if this will work. He also has inferiority complex that I am wealthier than him and he always needs my financial support. When it comes to hiding financial information, this is more of a trust problem that can get out of hand quickly. He is worthy of love still….he is worthy of a good woman. I became so used on being alone and by myself. close. He on the other hand will manage the business. It sucks that men feel this way. Is your new romance off to a bad start? Dating a guy with financial problems because he can't hold a job for long can be a major problem in many relationships. And most of the time he says maybe… then he says he can’t. I think that the more I help him, the more attention he’ll give me. What happened to loving someone unconditionally? If you wait for things to improve, you might be waiting a long, long time. One of the greatest tests that any couple will face is how they deal with their financial problems in marriage. I may be a bit older then most, but I have seen many happy marriages of people who split and then got back together months later. So how do we help and support these men? Dating a guy with financial problems that include bankruptcy or foreclosure, you want to discuss what the cause of the bankruptcy or foreclosure was. A whole lifetime has probably passed since your posting, but I feel the same. I think he’s mainly stressed out with his financial problem and scared that my dad wouldn’t accept him with his current financial situation. You deserve better than dating a separated man and this kind of dysfunctional situation. The flip side of the same coin is what I call Poor-Sucker Syndrome (I wrote a book onit), it’s when men try to hide from issues with self-esteem getting into debt in hopes of achieving status and group belonging. Then, I knew that he has some financial problems. I had a similar situation but after 4 months he suggested we part . Listen to how someone is talking about his or her debt. Most couples break up after a few months of dating because of financial constraints. I’ve helped him out here and there even when he says he doesn’t want my help but I do it anyway. If your heart is saying to stay, then stay and stay fully. And what to do when he distances himself like he has just recently. On a personal note, I’ve fallen into this type of thinking before. So I know that when I’ve been overwhelmed or stressed by these types of situations it has been tough on the people who love me and want me to be in a good place. My mental ilness effected him. Unless you are a trust fund baby or are dating a trust fund baby, your man will be watching how you spend your money. I needed a car asap, found one on Craig’s list, it lasted a month. He said he remembered from my online dating profile I had said I wanted a man … He said he needs time and space. His actions are not so much a reflection of how he feels about you but more about how he feels about his situation. When dating a divorced man, especially if the divorce is recent, it’s important to be cautious. Vivian. I mean I am only his gf, he’s parents should be the one shouldering everything. He broke up with me over a month ago due to his financial struggle of taking care of himself and his parents, i can see it taking a toll on him we are long distance relationship. Which is even more confusing. Either way, have a bottom line for yourself of what you need to stay and whether or not he meets it NOW. He says I am money focused and care too much about money. You need to do your homework and investigate further into his financial plans, philosophy, and practices. Let me make a distinction of what I am NOT saying here:  I am not saying to reassure him. Just trying to give him his space and keeping myself busy. The time apart made them realize that they where better together. He has no limit to his spending and tends to overspend which can be lead to a major strain on the relationship. but we grow farther emotionally as day passes. While it may have happened years ago, both of these scenarios indicate their finances go so out of hand that they had no other option. after reading your response i felt relieved..i am in the same situation right now..my pulled away because he has too much goin on right now, especially financially, i am paid higher than him..i spend a lot in our dates..until one day he realized that he is being unfair to me, but i told him that its okay that im fine with it..my bf felt worthless and unsuccessful..he told me that he will turn 30 next yr and until now he has a crappy life, no savings, no house of his own and even his goal to have a car before he turns 30 is still blurry..he said that one of his goals is to havr his own family before he turns 30..he said that he felt lost..i think he made thia realization last august because most of our friends got engaged and he felt pressure..he wants to solve all of his problema and crisis alone.. 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